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Proofreading Samples

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PGE Language has the experience and expertise to help you with a wide range of documents. Click on the links below to see examples of our editing work in specialized fields. Hover over the yellow highlightingProofreader's comments appear here. to see the proofreader's comments on the changes made.

Electronics | Contractual | Automotive | Education | Medical | Instruction Manual | Civil Engineering | Plastics Technology | Mechanical Engineering | Economics | Internet Technology | Robotics Technology


Sample Field: Electronics

Original

For supplying of power to communication equipment such as a switching system, transmission unit, and radio transmitter, a DC power supply with high reliability and high efficiency is used. For this type, a best option is a rectifier unit that converts commercialthree-phase 200V input to 48VDC. In this method, the input AC voltage is usually rectified to DC by the rectifier and then converted to the target DC voltage by the DC/DC converter.

Changes

A highly reliableThe original translation had this phrase at the end of the sentence. To a native speaker, it sounds more natural at the beginning., efficient DC power supply is generally used to power For supplying of power to communications equipment such as a switching systems, transmission units, and radio transmitters, a DC power supply with high reliability and high efficiency is used. For this type pPurpose works much better here.urpose, a the best option is a rectifier unit that convertsing commercial three-phase 200V input to 48VDC.

In Using this method, the input AC voltage is usually rectified sAvoiding the double use of rectify gives better English style.witched to DC by the rectifier, and is then converted to the target DC voltage by the DC/DC converter.

Finished Version

A highly reliable, efficient DC power supply is generally used to power communications equipment such as switching systems, transmission units and radio transmitters. For this purpose, the best option is a rectifier unit converting commercial three-phase 200V input to 48VDC.

Using this method, the input AC voltage is switched to DC by the rectifier, and is then converted to the target DC voltage by the DC/DC converter.

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Sample Field: Contractual

Original

1. The CEO (Chief Executive Officer) shall preparethe Business Activities Guideline that all executive officers and employees in this company shall observe and make it known to them without exception.

2. The CEO shall take necessary steps in order to make relevant ethic, law and regulation that all executive officers and employees in this company shall observe, known to them.

Changes

1. The CEO (Chief Executive Officer) shall prepare a set of tThe original the was not quite right here. Using a set of improves the style greatly.he Business Activities Guidelines that to The passive voice is more appropriate here.be observed by all company executive officers and employees, in this company shall observe and make it these guidelines known to them relevant parties without exception.

2. The CEO shall take the necessary steps in order to make to ensure that all company Executive Officers and employees are aware of the relevant ethics, laws and regulations to be observed thThis phrase was re-written to avoid the original Japanese English feeling.at all executive officers and employees in this company shall observe, known to them.

Finished Version

1. The CEO (Chief Executive Officer) shall prepare a set of Business Activities Guidelines to be observed by all company Executive Officers and employees, and make these guidelines known to the relevant parties without exception.

2. The CEO shall take the necessary steps to ensure that all company Executive Officers and employees are aware of the relevant ethics, laws and regulations to be observed.

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Sample Field: Automotive

Original

The automobile industry is a very complex industry in that it needs use of common components, production close to the place of consumption, and combinations of designs and prices matching the regions. With such various components in use, it means the industry has a broad supplier base and a hierarchical structure. A such complex and diverse industry has a large room for more competitive products by improving productivity and cutting costs through use of IT.

Changes

The automobile industry is a very hiThis rephrasing avoids the unnecessary repetition of industry.ghly complex,industry in that it needs requiring the use of common components, a geographical proximity of production closeThe original close here is an adjective, but this is a list of nouns. Using the noun geographical proximity maintains the format and style of the list. to the place of and consumption, and design/pricing combinations of designs and prices matching the targetregions.

With such various The Such various feels very Japanese English in style. The rewrite gives much more natural English.wide range of components in use, it means the used results in the industry's has a broad supplier base and a hierarchical structure. As Such a complex and diverse industry has a large roomA large room sounds like an actual room in a house. High potential avoids this strange phrasing. high potential for more increased competitiveness products by through the use of IT to improving improve productivity and cutting costs through use of IT.

Finished Version

The automobile industry is highly complex, requiring the use of common components, a geographical proximity of production and consumption, and design/pricing combinations matching the target regions.

The wide range of components involved results in the industry's broad supplier base and hierarchical structure. Such a complex and diverse industry has high potential for increased competitiveness through the use of IT to improve productivity and cut costs.

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Sample Field: Education

Original

(1) Teaching and memorize - development of education

The education to improve IQ The original translation here was very Japanese English in style, requiring a complete rewrite for natural English. This is a good example of our Advanced Editing Service.started from 19 C. There were schools called "Terakoya" where they teach to read and write for ordinary children. There were different better schools for ruling classes. There also were private schools for people with money for teaching costs. But in all the schools the mainstream of the education was to teach and memorize. In the university, they translated the western country's studies and taught in Japanese, not developing ability to think to create new things. We had to create new methods of teaching to avoid this.

Finished Version

(1) Rote Learning – The Development of Education

The nineteenth century saw the development of education methods designed to improve IQ. At that time in Japan, reading and writing was taught on a regular level at schools known as Terakoya, while those from the ruling classes attended superior establishments. Private schools also existed for those with the means to pay schooling fees.

Rote learning was the basic method of education in all schools. At university level, studies from western countries were translated and taught in Japanese, which did little to develop creative thinking. It was necessary to combat this through the development of new educational techniques.

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Sample Field: Medical

Original

Psychopharmological objective: Examining if induced lowering of levels of serotonin (5-HT) levels increases behavioral measures of impulsiveness. Twenty-four healthy young men took a mixture of essential amino acids for a balanced, random, double blind, placebo controlled crossover design. The continuous-performance test using identical pairs was administered when the concentration of plasma of an acid was thought to be at its lowest, and the concentrations of plasma of 23 amino acids were measured at baseline and 5 h after the ingestion of the mixture of amino acids.

Changes

Psychopharmological objective: To examineing if whether the induced lowering of levels of Changing the word order here improves the styleserotonin (5-HT) levels would increases behavioral measures of impulsivenessity.

Twenty-fourIn English, the numbers one through ten are generally spelled out; figures are used for numbers greater than ten.24 healthy young men males took ingested a mixture of essential amino acids for in a balanced, randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled, cross-over study design. The continuous- performance test using identical pairs was administered when the plasma concentration of plasma of an particular acid was thought expected to be at its lowest point. , aThe original sentence here was much too long to be clear in English. Breaking it into two units improves clarity and stylend The concentrations of plasma concentrations of 23 amino acids were measured at baseline and 5 h at five hours after the ingestion of the mixture ofAmino acid mixture is a little more natural here than mixture of amino acids amino acids mixture.

Finished Version

Psychopharmological objective: To examine whether the induced lowering of serotonin (5-HT) levels would increase behavioral measures of impulsivity.

24 healthy young males ingested a mixture of essential amino acids in a balanced, randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled cross-over study. The continuous performance test using identical pairs was administered when the plasma concentration of a particular acid was expected to be at the lowest point. The plasma concentrations of 23 amino acids were measured at baseline and at five hours after the ingestion of the amino acid mixture.

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Sample Field: Instruction Manual

Original

Removing the side port (Perform this operation by two or more persons.)

(1) Turn off power to the loader and the circuit protectors of FFU No.1 and No.2.

(2) Take off the lower cover on the lower part of the side port.

(3) Remove the six M8 bolts that are fixing the side port. Be sure to hold the front handle to remove the bolts because the side port is likely to fall down forward. Do not loosen other bolts during removal.

(4) Pull the side port toward the operator and remove it from the loader while holding the front handle of the side port. When pulling the side port toward the operator, be careful not to catch the connection cables removed earlier and air tube under the side port.

Changes

Removing the side port (Perform tUsing perform here is too strong a direct command. The rephrasing gives a more appropriate style.This operation should be carried out by two or more personsople.)

(1) Turn off the power to the loader and the circuit protectors of FFUs No.1 and No.2.

(2) Take off Remove the lower cover on the lower part of the side port.

(3) Remove the six M8 bolts that areThe original that are fixing here was a little too wordy. Simply using securing is better. fixing securing the side port. Be sure to hold the front handle to when removeing the bolts because to prevent the side port is likely to from fallThe original translation here was not natural English. The rewrite improves the style greatly.ing down forward. Do not loosen other bolts during removal.

(4) While holding the handle, Ppull the side port toward the operator and remove it from the loader while holding the front handle of the side port. When pulling the side portThe translator's version had three uses of the side port close together. This rewrite avoids such unnecessary repetition. toward the operator, b Be careful not to catch the connection cables removed earlier and or the air tube under the side port.

Finished Version

Removing the side port (This operation should be carried out by two or more people.)

(1) Turn off the power to the loader and the circuit protectors of FFUs No.1 and No.2.

(2) Remove the cover on the lower part of the side port.

(3) Remove the six M8 bolts securing the side port. Be sure to hold the front handle when removing the bolts to prevent the side port from falling forward. Do not loosen other bolts during removal.

(4) While holding the handle, pull the side port toward the operator and remove it from the loader. Be careful not to catch the connection cables removed earlier or the air tube under the side port.

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Sample Field: Civil Engineering

Original

Flexural deflection of steel fiber reinforced concrete (SRC) is measured, in particular the fiber type, length and volume fraction, and matrix composition. Results proved that fiber content of 50 to 100 lb/cu is excellent for ductility in normal strength concrete. Fiber content must be increased to about 150 lb/cu for high strength concrete. 1.18 to 2.36 in. fiber length does not make a significant effect on toughness in hooked-end fibers.

Changes

The fFlexural deflection behavior of steel fiber reinforced concrete (SRC) is was measured. TheThis addition is a little closer to the meaning in the original language. The sentence was also a little too long to be clear; breaking it into two units helps to improve style and comprehension. variables investigated ,in particular the were fiber type, length and volume fraction, and matrix composition.

The results proved iProved is not correct here, as there was no hypothesis to be tested. Indicated seems much more appropriate.ndicated that a fiber content of in the range of 50 to 100 lb/cu is provides excellent for ductility in for normal-strength concrete., while fiber content must be increased to about 150 lb/ cu yd for high-strength concrete. A fiber length in the rangeThe translation here was slightly unnatural; this rewrite offers much better style.of 1.18 to 2.36 in. fiber length does not make a has no significant effect on toughness in for hooked-end fibers.

Finished Version

The flexural deflection behavior of steel fiber reinforced concrete (SRC) was measured. The variables investigated were fiber type, length and volume fraction, and matrix composition.

The results indicated that a fiber content in the range of 50 to 100 lb/cu yd provides excellent ductility for normal-strength concrete, while fiber content must be increased to about 150 lb/ cu yd for high-strength concrete. A fiber length in the range of 1.18 to 2.36 in. has no significant effect on toughness for hooked-end fibers.

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Sample Field: Plastics Technology

Original

COPs (cyclic olefin polymers and copolymers) are engineering thermal plastics for the modern era made from ring-shaped molecules of norbornene, made from dicyclopentadiene (DCPD) and ethylene. They have glassy transparency, low dielectric loss, low absorption of moisture, excellent dimentional stability, high heat resistance (212-374 F Tg), and high melt-flow rates which make possible very exact molding. Addidtionally, cyclic olefins are being investigated as an ingredient for blending to make polyolefin films stiffer.

Changes

COPs (c It is much clearer to give the full name followed by the abbreviation than vice-versa. Cyclic olefin polymers (COPs) and copolymers) are modern engineering thermaloplastics for the modern The rephrasing here makes the text more natural and clearer.era made derived from the ring-shaped norbornene molecules of norbornene, which is made from up of dicyclopentadiene (DCPD) and ethylene. They have These It was not clear whether the original they referred to the resins, the molecules or the chemicals. This rewrite avoids any ambiguity.resins boast glassy-like transparency, low dielectric loss, low absorption of moisture absorption, excellent dimentsional stability, high heat resistance (212-374 F Tg), and high melt-flow rates which make The change here gives much more natural English. possible that permit very exact precise molding. Additionally, Cyclic olefins are also being investigated as an ingredient for a blending ingredient to stiffen mMake stiffer = stiffenake polyolefin films stiffer.

Finished Version

Cyclic olefin polymers (COPs) and copolymers are modern engineering thermoplastics derived from the ring-shaped norbornene molecule, which is made up of dicyclopentadiene (DCPD) and ethylene. These resins boast glass-like transparency, low dielectric loss, low moisture absorption, excellent dimensional stability, high heat resistance (212-374F Tg), and high melt-flow rates that permit very precise molding. Cyclic olefins are also being investigated as a blending ingredient to stiffen polyolefin films.

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Sample Field: Mechanical Engineering

Original

Experiments made possible a higher cutting speed of 100% for exothermic burning metals in steels and about 400% for titaniums. A mathematical welding model of the combined energy only fitted the real results if the arc root was narrow to near the laser beam width and the arc entered the keyhole. It is possible that this is because of the easier conduction route down the laser-generated plasma and the magnetic arc pinch effect it makes on the arc.

Changes

Experiments madeEnabled here feels much more natural than made possible. possible enabled an increased higher cutting speed , for metals that burn exothermically, of 100% for exothermic burning metals steels and about 400% for titaniums.

A mathematical welding model of the combined energy only fitted correspondedFitted doesn't seem appropriate here. Corresponded has a much better feeling. to the real observed results if the arc root was had narrowed to near the laser beam width and the arc entered the keyhole. It is possible that this is because of This mayThe re-wording here avoids the close repetition of is and makes the sentence more readable. be due to the easier conduction route down the laser-generated plasma and the subsequent magnetic pinch effect it makes on the arc.

Finished Version

Experiments enabled an increased cutting speed, for metals that burn exothermically, of 100% for steel and about 400% for titanium.

A mathematical welding model of the combined energy only corresponded to the observed results if the arc root had narrowed to near the laser beam width and the arc entered the keyhole. This may be due to the easier conduction route down the laser-generated plasma and the subsequent magnetic pinch effect on the arc.

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Sample Field: Economics

Original

9. Economic Growth of China and Influence on Japan

The rapid economical growth of China is, at the same time, both a menace for Japanese companies as well as a source of new business opportunities. For the materials industries represented by iron and steel products, in fact, the export from Japan increased as the GDP of China expanded. Further, Japan-made industrial machines are often used in China. In China where many of the infrastructures are not yet developed even in the service industries including physical distribution, the know-how accumulated in Japan will prove precious in order to develop industrial infrastructures.

Changes

9. The Economic Growth of China and its Influence on Japan

For Japanesecompanies, This new word order improves the style of the sentence.Tthe rapid economicalgrowth of China is represents, at the same time, both a threat menace for Japanese companies as well as and a potential source of new business opportunities. Exports from Japan in the For The changes here avoid the repetition of industry and improve the style of the sentence.the materials industries represented by iron and steel products industries have, in fact, the export from Japan have increased as the GDP of China has expanded, . Further, and This last short sentence is more natural joined to the previous one.industrial machines made in Japan-ese-built industrial machines are often widely used in China.

In China where many As Chinese of the infrastructures are not still yet underdeveloped (even including the in the service industries including physical distribution of the service The re-wording here offers better English style.industries,), the know-how expertise accumulated in Japan will prove precious valuable in order to develop the development of industrial suchChanged to avoid over-reptitition of industry/industrial infrastructures.

Finished Version

9. The Economic Growth of China and its Influence on Japan

For Japanese companies, the rapid economic growth of China represents both a threat and a potential source of new business. Exports from Japan in the iron and steel industries have in fact increased as the GDP of China has expanded, and industrial machines made in Japan are widely used in China.

As Chinese infrastructures are still underdeveloped (including the physical distribution of the service industries), expertise accumulated in Japan will prove valuable in the development of such structures.

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Sample Field: Internet Technology

Original

The Internet is undergoing explosive growth as the mobile and broadband environments are being upgraded. The Internet access capability has been given to both personal computers and common electrical appliances such as television sets, beginning to significantly influence the life style of users. While the need is growing for advanced and convenient Internet services, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to find information that matches users' preferences from among an enormous number of services and contents.

Changes

The Internet Switching the first and second parts of this sentence around offers much better logic and style.is undergoing explosive growth as the As a result of the upgrading of mobile and broadband environments are being upgraded. The environments, the Internet is currently experiencing explosive growth. Internet access capability has been This is more natural as is now availablegiven to both is now available not only for personal computers and but also for common electrical appliances such as television sets - a trend which is beginning to significantly influence the life style of users. While the need is Putting is growing later in the sentence improves readability and style. growing for advanced and convenient Internet services, convenient advanced Internet services is growing, it is becoming increasingly moThe meaning of more is already included in increasingly, so this can be omitted.re difficult to find information that matches matching user preferences from among an the enormous number raNumber is generally used for countable nouns, while amount is used for non-countable. However, the subject nouns (services and content) are countable and non-countable respectively, so neither one is appropriate in this case. Range can be used for both, so is much better here. nge of services and contents available.

Finished Version

As a result of the development of mobile and broadband capabilities, the Internet is currently experiencing explosive growth. Internet access is now not limited to personal computers, but is also available for common electrical appliances such as television sets - a trend which is beginning to significantly influence the lifestyle of users.

While the need for convenient advanced Internet services is growing, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find information matching user preferences among the enormous range of services and content available.

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Sample Field: Robotics Technology

Original

The machine tending robot weighing 1230KG's load range is 40 to 220 kg and 12 robot variants. Robot has 6 axis for maneuvrability in machine tending, material handling, spot welding and process applications. There is also available a shelf mounted type that can reach underneath it, suitable for small spaces and poke welding where one side of the work piece is accessible. Reach is 2000mm and weight is 1300kg.

Changes

The machine tendingThe original translation here did not represent natural English. The rewrite is how a native speaker might express it. robot weighing This 1230KG'skg machine-tending robot has a load range is of 40 to 220kg and with 12 robot variants. Robot ThChanged to avoid over-repetition of robote unit has features 6-axis for maneuverability in for machine tending, material handling, spot welding and process applications.

There is a Also available is a shelf- mounted type version that can reach underneath itThe meaning of underneath it was rather unclear. This is much better as under itself.self, making it suitable for small confined spaces and for poke welding where only one side of the work piece is accessible. The robot's maximum Added to clarify the meaning.Rreach is 2000mm and weightRephrased for more natural Engish.is with the unit weighing in at 1300kg.

Finished Version

This 1230-kg machine-tending robot has a load range of 40kg to 220kg with 12 robot variants. The unit features 6-axis maneuverability for machine tending, material handling, spot welding and process applications.

Also available is a shelf-mounted version that can reach under itself, making it suitable for confined spaces and for poke welding where only one side of the work piece is accessible. The robot's maximum reach is 2000mm, with the unit weighing in at 1300kg.

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